September 16th, 2023

Coach Jen

During a trail run with a friend over the weekend, the topic of intermittent fasting came up. I was sharing a story of an ultra runner who recently ran 100 miles without consuming any calories-and while that is fascinating- it got me thinking. While there is nothing inherently wrong with intermittent fasting, and could be used as a tool for some to increase health markers, my concern is when tools turn into rules.

Why do we settle into specific habits? Is it out of fear? Out of guilt? Out of passion? We live in a society that loves to place labels. Labels of good or bad, keto or vegan, disciplined or undisciplined, weak or strong. Out of habits and cultural influence we find ourselves feeling the need to conform to one or the other-falling under the trap of rule-based living. Must we always religiously practice one thing? Or perhaps, could we utilize different dietary practices as tools in our health journey.

I am someone who spent many years living with an unhealthy mental and physical relationship around food and the rules I created. For me, my rule based living was centered around food- but now, being years removed, I’ve realized it was never about the food. Food was just the outlet. So just how was I able to transform my rules into tools? Below are three steps I took…and continue to implement in my food freedom journey.

Identify

We all have our little habits (i.e. always putting your right shoe on first, or only eating one item of food on your plate at a time), and while habits are not inherently harmful, it’s when those habits become rules that literally dictate your life that issues may arise. I specifically remember a day in high school where I was going shopping with my mom and sister. It was around 2 pm and they suggested getting some lunch-queue panic attack. I was also going out to eat that night at 6 pm and that wouldn’t be enough time between meals. If I was going to have lunch it absolutely had to be before 12. That’s an issue of a tool (i.e. eating windows) becoming a rule that if broken causes severe anxiety. As I’m writing this, I’m thinking how silly that experience sounds…but at that time it wasn’t silly-it was real-it was my life. It wasn’t until I took the time to identify why I felt the need to adhere to those rule that I was able to break them down and understand the root cause of my anxiety. Perhaps for you it’s not food centered but work, or social or exercise. Do you experience a sense of panic if you sleep till 6:05 instead of 6:00, or miss a workout, or have to go out with friends? The first step is to identify those areas you’ve placed a strict rule on; the type of rules that if broken, will completely derail your day.

Exposure

Once I was able to identify areas that I had formed an unhealthy relationship with, I knew I needed to expose my self to that exact situation in an effort to release those rigid rules. Similar to trail running, where my first few trail runs felt overwhelming and scary, but with frequent exposure began to feel second nature. In the example of food, it may be choosing foods you are fearful of (in many cases very caloric dense foods) and choosing to incorporate them into your meals a few times a week. Over time those foods become less scary and begin to lose power over you. Gradually, your mindset will shift and you’ll be able to make the active decision whether or not to incorporate those foods because they truly make you feel strong and fulfilled, or you may identify (through intuitive eating) that specific food is not serving you fully. After identifying your behavior and allowing for frequent exposure, you’ll find that overtime you’ll be able to view your patterns as tools vs. rules. Maybe you do choose to incorporate intermittent fasting a few times a week after a race to help with inflammation levels-but if that old friend calls to have breakfast at a time you normally wouldn’t eat, you’re able to step back and realize by stepping outside your so cold “toolbox” for a day does not and never will make you a bad person.

Time

It’s important to understand that food freedom doesn’t happen overnight. I’m so grateful to say that after many years of an internal struggle I can now approach eating without restrictions and rules. Is it because I had the will power to overcome? Actually, quite the opposite. You see, it’s when I set aside my will power, my desire to control, my fear of not being enough that I was able to see the beauty in freedom. You don’t need to adhere to rules to be structured. You don’t need to restrict to be healthy. You don’t need to pretend to be something that your soul knows it’s not. Because you know what? You are enough. Habitual adherence to a set of arbitrary rules will not make you better, stronger, or wiser. In time, after identifying, exposing and exuding grace, you’ll realize you are and were always enough.

It’s pretty cool that we live in a day and age where we have a ton of research and resources at our fingertips to help us live fulfilling lives. Just be sure to use those resources as tools and not set rules.